Have you ever been made to choose?
Feb. 24th, 2010 05:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wicked3659Ok my fandom friends. One of my extremely rare journal posts. I would LJ cut but my phone is not that advanced.
Have you ever been made to or asked to choose between your love of TF (or whatever you maybe interested/fans of) and the one who supposedly loves you? In connection to that and more relevant to TF, has any of you ever been made to feel like a freak or been told you're not normal just because you write/read/draw TF's and can see them as fictional characters with personalities, lives, relationships? Those of you who do write/read smut/slash, have you been made to feel victimised, told you're weird, told that you're an embarrassment by your other half or someone close to you?
You see this is my problem. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I get into TF so much or how I can turn a cartoon character into a sexual being and write stories about it. I can't even so much as mention the word Transformers without him pulling a face. To him it's not normal, something wrong and considers it detrimental to our relationship. Now I am not the best girlfriend in the whole world but I spend time with him, show interest in his football team, cook for him (when I hate it) and I most certainly don't shove my interest down his throat. But yet he complains when I have nothing to talk to him about. He blames my tf interest for pulling me away from him, when in fact I think it's about jealously.
I have found something I'm not bad at, something I can contribute to, enjoy and it has given me one of the best friends I've ever had who I talk to about pretty much everything from across the world, something I can't do with him because he has a major squick about it and writing takes up a good part of my spare time, while still making time for him. So yeah I've changed. I'm as close to being happy as I can be, you could say I am reasonably content. So if it's having a positive effect on me, why is it so hard for him to accept?
So my fellow fans, have you had to encounter this sort of prejudice? How did you deal with it, did you ever choose to leave an interest behind for someone just because they wouldn't open up their mind a teeny bit?
Have you ever been made to or asked to choose between your love of TF (or whatever you maybe interested/fans of) and the one who supposedly loves you? In connection to that and more relevant to TF, has any of you ever been made to feel like a freak or been told you're not normal just because you write/read/draw TF's and can see them as fictional characters with personalities, lives, relationships? Those of you who do write/read smut/slash, have you been made to feel victimised, told you're weird, told that you're an embarrassment by your other half or someone close to you?
You see this is my problem. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I get into TF so much or how I can turn a cartoon character into a sexual being and write stories about it. I can't even so much as mention the word Transformers without him pulling a face. To him it's not normal, something wrong and considers it detrimental to our relationship. Now I am not the best girlfriend in the whole world but I spend time with him, show interest in his football team, cook for him (when I hate it) and I most certainly don't shove my interest down his throat. But yet he complains when I have nothing to talk to him about. He blames my tf interest for pulling me away from him, when in fact I think it's about jealously.
I have found something I'm not bad at, something I can contribute to, enjoy and it has given me one of the best friends I've ever had who I talk to about pretty much everything from across the world, something I can't do with him because he has a major squick about it and writing takes up a good part of my spare time, while still making time for him. So yeah I've changed. I'm as close to being happy as I can be, you could say I am reasonably content. So if it's having a positive effect on me, why is it so hard for him to accept?
So my fellow fans, have you had to encounter this sort of prejudice? How did you deal with it, did you ever choose to leave an interest behind for someone just because they wouldn't open up their mind a teeny bit?
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-24 11:24 pm (UTC)TF is a small thing in the scheme of things, despite our obsession with it. So, it's not hurting anyone. If it makes you happy and it's not illegal, keep doing it. He doesn't have any right to tell you "no", because of you.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-24 11:38 pm (UTC)Since all of this discussion though, I told him straight that he is to stop blaming it for problems he has with the relationship, to stop telling me it's not normal and to stop accusing me of shoving it down his throat.
I simply agreed never to speak about it in front of him. He also asked me if I fancy robots more than him 0_o is it me or is that question a little ridiculous?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-25 12:46 am (UTC)Yes the question is ridiculous.
And my answer TO the ridiculous question would also be 'Yes'.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-25 01:15 am (UTC)*looks at Prowl toy* mmmhmmm ¬___¬ damn fine sexy 'bot right there!!!
*ahem* if you heard me argue my point in person you wouldn't think I was mild and polite then. When my britishness fails I swear more than a sea captain with Tourettes 0.0
no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 03:58 am (UTC)Honestly I smell the reek of abusiveness. Maybe not, but this certainly sounds like he wants an unhealthy amount of control.