Have you ever been made to choose?
Feb. 24th, 2010 05:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wicked3659Ok my fandom friends. One of my extremely rare journal posts. I would LJ cut but my phone is not that advanced.
Have you ever been made to or asked to choose between your love of TF (or whatever you maybe interested/fans of) and the one who supposedly loves you? In connection to that and more relevant to TF, has any of you ever been made to feel like a freak or been told you're not normal just because you write/read/draw TF's and can see them as fictional characters with personalities, lives, relationships? Those of you who do write/read smut/slash, have you been made to feel victimised, told you're weird, told that you're an embarrassment by your other half or someone close to you?
You see this is my problem. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I get into TF so much or how I can turn a cartoon character into a sexual being and write stories about it. I can't even so much as mention the word Transformers without him pulling a face. To him it's not normal, something wrong and considers it detrimental to our relationship. Now I am not the best girlfriend in the whole world but I spend time with him, show interest in his football team, cook for him (when I hate it) and I most certainly don't shove my interest down his throat. But yet he complains when I have nothing to talk to him about. He blames my tf interest for pulling me away from him, when in fact I think it's about jealously.
I have found something I'm not bad at, something I can contribute to, enjoy and it has given me one of the best friends I've ever had who I talk to about pretty much everything from across the world, something I can't do with him because he has a major squick about it and writing takes up a good part of my spare time, while still making time for him. So yeah I've changed. I'm as close to being happy as I can be, you could say I am reasonably content. So if it's having a positive effect on me, why is it so hard for him to accept?
So my fellow fans, have you had to encounter this sort of prejudice? How did you deal with it, did you ever choose to leave an interest behind for someone just because they wouldn't open up their mind a teeny bit?
Have you ever been made to or asked to choose between your love of TF (or whatever you maybe interested/fans of) and the one who supposedly loves you? In connection to that and more relevant to TF, has any of you ever been made to feel like a freak or been told you're not normal just because you write/read/draw TF's and can see them as fictional characters with personalities, lives, relationships? Those of you who do write/read smut/slash, have you been made to feel victimised, told you're weird, told that you're an embarrassment by your other half or someone close to you?
You see this is my problem. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I get into TF so much or how I can turn a cartoon character into a sexual being and write stories about it. I can't even so much as mention the word Transformers without him pulling a face. To him it's not normal, something wrong and considers it detrimental to our relationship. Now I am not the best girlfriend in the whole world but I spend time with him, show interest in his football team, cook for him (when I hate it) and I most certainly don't shove my interest down his throat. But yet he complains when I have nothing to talk to him about. He blames my tf interest for pulling me away from him, when in fact I think it's about jealously.
I have found something I'm not bad at, something I can contribute to, enjoy and it has given me one of the best friends I've ever had who I talk to about pretty much everything from across the world, something I can't do with him because he has a major squick about it and writing takes up a good part of my spare time, while still making time for him. So yeah I've changed. I'm as close to being happy as I can be, you could say I am reasonably content. So if it's having a positive effect on me, why is it so hard for him to accept?
So my fellow fans, have you had to encounter this sort of prejudice? How did you deal with it, did you ever choose to leave an interest behind for someone just because they wouldn't open up their mind a teeny bit?
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Date: 2010-02-24 10:05 pm (UTC)Rach xx
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Date: 2010-02-24 10:14 pm (UTC)His words were if I can make you choose I would. And he also said that since I've got into tf over the past 6 to 9 months it's had a detrimental effect on our relationship and he's been feeling entirely unfulfilled.
Stems down to me actually being settled and content and yeah I'm different. He says I'm not the same girl he fell in love with. Well no shit sherlock, that's because you fell in love with an emotional wreck on a rebound 3 years ago. Now I'm actually aware of myself and reasonably content, he's unfulfilled. Me thinks it's jealousy. I just hope it passes.
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Date: 2010-02-25 12:48 am (UTC)In short: jerkball.
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Date: 2010-02-25 01:12 am (UTC)Me I'm different than I was last month 0_0