Have you ever been made to choose?

[wicked3659]

Ok my fandom friends. One of my extremely rare journal posts. I would LJ cut but my phone is not that advanced.

Have you ever been made to or asked to choose between your love of TF (or whatever you maybe interested/fans of) and the one who supposedly loves you? In connection to that and more relevant to TF, has any of you ever been made to feel like a freak or been told you're not normal just because you write/read/draw TF's and can see them as fictional characters with personalities, lives, relationships? Those of you who do write/read smut/slash, have you been made to feel victimised, told you're weird, told that you're an embarrassment by your other half or someone close to you?

You see this is my problem. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I get into TF so much or how I can turn a cartoon character into a sexual being and write stories about it. I can't even so much as mention the word Transformers without him pulling a face. To him it's not normal, something wrong and considers it detrimental to our relationship. Now I am not the best girlfriend in the whole world but I spend time with him, show interest in his football team, cook for him (when I hate it) and I most certainly don't shove my interest down his throat. But yet he complains when I have nothing to talk to him about. He blames my tf interest for pulling me away from him, when in fact I think it's about jealously.

I have found something I'm not bad at, something I can contribute to, enjoy and it has given me one of the best friends I've ever had who I talk to about pretty much everything from across the world, something I can't do with him because he has a major squick about it and writing takes up a good part of my spare time, while still making time for him. So yeah I've changed. I'm as close to being happy as I can be, you could say I am reasonably content. So if it's having a positive effect on me, why is it so hard for him to accept?

So my fellow fans, have you had to encounter this sort of prejudice? How did you deal with it, did you ever choose to leave an interest behind for someone just because they wouldn't open up their mind a teeny bit?

Comments

[antepathy.livejournal.com]

HHahahahahaha my comment is longer than your post! I suck so hard!

(and I am avoiding grading the 'abortion is wrong mmmmkay' paper) O__o

[wicked3659.livejournal.com]

He he he don't worry about the length. Everything you said makes sense to me, always does. Thankyou :)

Good luck with that paper 0.o

[ladydragon76.livejournal.com]

I escaped a manipulative relationship myself and agree with everything Antepathy said. My husband now does NOT get the TF thing. It squicks the hell out of him. Like it's my go-to thing when I want to get under his skin for kicks. Don't worry, we both know it's all in fun. He encourages my writing though. He doesn't want to read the TF (OMFG baby how did you make OPTIMUS GAY!!!) stuff. But neither does he make fun of me, tell me to quit, or give me ultimatums.

The X DID do all that and it's a control thing. If he's going to try to force you to give this up, then he'll push for more to go later. I say get out. For me, it was better to be alone and free to do what I wanted, than to live with constantly trying to meet someone's expectations when I'd NEVER be good enough for him.

Plus. You're a good writer. If this is where your passion lies, he should be SUPPORTIVE, period. Subject matter does not matter. It's totally ok for memebers of a couple to have interests they don't share with one another.

[wicked3659.livejournal.com]

Someone should tell him that ha ha ha. He doesn't listen to me.

Thanks it does bear thinking about, if he does keep pushing it he'll see I can push back just as hard. I'm not walking away from something I actually feel a part of.

[ladydragon76.livejournal.com]

Right. And lol, I know I'm gungho and less eloquent than the others that commented, so if they guy can see reason, then cool. But I've seen too many, and been part of what degrades to an abusive relationship before. Not listening, ultimatums, belittlement, manipulation, control issues. Those things don't change for long. Only you can decide whether he's worth keeping around or not, but it hits some chord in me that gets my hackles up when someone pulls games like this on another.

You love him, that should be returned not used by him to get his own way. LOL, and I'll stop ranting now. =D Best wishes. Maybe once he realizes you really are serious, he'll get it through his head.