wicked3659 | Blah blah BOTCON blah

Okay so update of updateyness.

I'm all moved into my new flat. It's very cosy and I unpacked all my tfs the other day so they're enjoying their new surroundings (I have way more than I thought and a whole table of Prowl and Jazz lol). My neighbours are.... not that welcoming but you have to take the rough with the smooth I guess.

My move went alright, I had to downsize quite a bit but it worked out, I think. On the Saturday of moving weekend however me and my mum's boyfriend got into a huge row where he admitted he hated me, couldn't stand to be around me and demanded my mum choose between me and him and I'm the reason her previous boyfriend left her. (Not because he was shagging some random woman he met when he was driving a taxi... noooo). Anyway long story short, he accused me of using and abusing my mum, yeah I would drop everything for her, take her shopping in my car, give her money when she needs it and sometimes just because I know she needs the cushion, I've cleaned up after her in the past when she was a drunken mess and I was a little girl. I've picked up the pieces of her previous shattered relationship and when this current one drives her to the point of frustration because he doesn't work, doesn't clean up after himself, doesn't do anything but sit on her sofa and eat her food, when she goes to work everyday.

Yeah... you can all guess how that turned out. I am no longer welcome in that house. Mum said she didn't choose but she lives with him, and loves him and that's what she wants. She said she'll still visit but as it stands I won't see her now for about 4 weeks due to her work and petrol prices (she doesn't drive I'd have to pick her up or let her catch a 2 hour train journey). This makes me quite sad as my mum and I were more like friends than mother and daughter as I had to grow up very quickly and didn't get much of a childhood, thanks to my dad so *shrug* I have to let her live her life with who she wants I guess... she is 50 after all and doesn't need me anymore.

.... -_-

It kinda sucks writing that down, admitting to myself that I with as far as family goes... I don't have anyone. I always spent Christmas day/my birthday at my mum's house and now I can't. I honestly don't want to be any where near her boyfriend nor he, me. I don't need anymore ammunition to hate myself thanks pal.

People tell me it'll blow over, that it'll be alright by Christmas.... there's optimism and then there's denial... it's not going to happen. Not after the things he said. Things I already knew deep down were true anyway.

On an entirely separate note -- my job is still at risk (see my entry regarding Astra Zeneca) we've heard nothing yet. We (at work) suspect we'll hear something towards the end of the financial year here in the UK, which is around April time. Have to wait and see but the not knowing really wears thin after 3 weeks v_v

Out of boredom and apathy, I actually submitted my C.V. to two jobs in Singapore. It's a start, I know how long the emmigration process can take and finding a job is hard enough in this country so I figured it's better to start pimping it out now. Hope for the best.

In other news that gave me a smile yesterday. I told my - not yet live - internet provider (I'm on mobile internet at the moment), my potential job situation and possibility of redundancies so I wanted to cancel my order and they very surprisingly, I did expect them to just say thanks goodbye, offered me my first month internet and installation absolutely free with 30 day free trial. So I'll cross my fingers again and hope the worst doesn't happen.

I finished my Chinese stage 1 course today. Stage 2 starts in October I'm definitely considering it. I got a B in my final assessment which I worked out to be about 85% following teacher's previous marking criteria. This means that based on my 4 assignments I got an average mark of 88%. *sigh* Now I know you'll tell me I did well and it's a good mark but honestly, I worked really hard and really wanted that A. So yeah suffering some minor disappointment here, they were stupid mistakes and I should have gotten into that 90 percentile bracket, as it stands I think I got one of the lowest if not THE lowest grade in my class, which for me... sucks!

*sulks in the corner for a bit*

Now in much happier news (you know reading the eulogies in the newspaper is more fun than reading my posts), I am going to Botcon!! I will be meeting up with

wingzbot and

eerian_sadow and none of this trip would be possible without

wingzbot. She has organised the road trip and everything and she is simply amazing. I am so excited and nervous. This will be my first trip ANYWHERE on my own. I haven't been to the US since I was 18 which is almost 10 years ago now and that was with my fella at the time and only to New York. This is a road trip and LOTS of people, granted you are all fellow TF fans.

I do hope to meet some of my good friends when I get there;

antepathy and

toyzintheattik to name a couple and prance about as TFA Prowl for a bit (another bit of awesomeness handmade by

wingzbot!). I wish a couple of others from my flist were going - you know who you are :3 - but I shall be taking my netbook and will bombard you (annoyingly) with random emails and pictures :3

Wow... I simply do not pull off excitement do I?

Okay I do believe I've babbled quite enough... so I'm going to retreat back into my melancholy for a while and contemplate baked breakfast goodies to make for me,

valielen and our friend Cath for our makeover hair cut day next Tuesday... It will distract me from the scary/brave decision to have all my hair chopped off. For those of you who don't know I currently have hair that reaches just above the waist band of my trousers and I'm going to get it cut above my shoulders *crazy* that's like 6-7 inches of hair!! I have a company 2 day audit the day after, I'm probably going to regret this. 0_0

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Location: sofa